Category Archives: The Magnificent You

Magnificent You Installment #4: The Simple truth about changing your thinking.

I was once told “getting a person to change their minds is like asking them to pull out their own teeth”.  In my every day dealings I found that to be a true statement.  I could not convince anyone to change their ways of thinking even if I was pointing out what I knew to be correct.  Then I stumbled, or more accurately was pushed towards a simple truth that has transformed my life. 

Humans have this need to anthropomorphize the scope of their perception.  In a scaled down way, we micromanage our reality in the same fashion.  We expect every one, and everything to adapt to our own way of thinking, and we believe that from all that we have perceived, and the knowledge we have gained from living that we know what is best.  We walk around living in a negative air space, because we are constantly offended by the things we perceive others to have done to us.  “How dare they speak to me so rudely”!  or, ” How dare the line in the bank be so long”.   We believe(falsely) that our opinion is the only opinion that matters, and the world is in fact how we perceive it to be.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

The simple truth that changed my existence:  I WAS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!  Let’s face it, we have all made mistakes before.  Even if no one besides ourselves were aware of the mistake…you can’t escape the fact that YOU KNOW you made a mistake.  We often have moments of flawed judgments.  Now here’s what’s going to really bake your noodle…. how can we have those moments of skewed judgments,  if the way we think is ALWAYS right?

“Once we realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition there is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes.”

George Soros( Hungarian born American Philanthropist and Stock Trader)

Once we have at least acknowledged the possibility of our fallibility, what we do with that information is completely up to us individually.

Changing your thoughts (especially the nagging, negative ones) is not as difficult as it sounds. You can do it very quickly when you have the right tools.  It’s just a matter of having a willingness to learn something new, and implementing what you’ve learned into your daily rituals.  Remember we all think in pictures. And those pictures for the most part create your experience – that experience is perceived through your vibration or feelings.  Change the thought and you change the feeling.

The easiest way to go about changing our thinking patterns is to become aware of some of the things we think.  We pay attention to so many things, yet we do not give the much warranted attention to the thoughts originating from our minds. 

All we have to do to change our thinking is to monitor our thoughts.  It’s not hard.  You don’t have to monitor EVERY thought.  If we tried to do that we would do nothing but monitor thoughts all We need to pay attention to the thoughts that cause us any negative emotions.  Once we realize where those negative emotions are emanating from, we can then begin to shift our thinking.  We then begin to change our reality.  Give it a try.  For 1 minute(exactly 60 seconds) observe your thoughts.  You will be amazed at how many thoughts run through your mind in 60 seconds.  You will even be further amazed by the fact that in that minute the majority of thoughts you will have involve feelings of anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, etc,.

Those are the thoughts that are holding us back from creating the reality we want for ourselves.

Magnificent You Installment #3: Thoughts Are Things.

As thinking, rationalizing adults, we must take notice to the fact that everything around us is there as a result of what is within us.  The circles we choose to surround ourselves in become an entrenched part of our being, and manifest itself in our daily lives.  We go about trying to ‘change’ the world, and the minds of all its inhabitants to our way of thinking, and choose to disassociate ourselves with those who don’t fit into that category.  Essentially we close ourselves off to new knowledge and new information, thereby limiting ourselves to any growth.   

Because we do not seek to question our own thoughts, we keep thinking in the same non-effective ways.  The repeat behaviors and conditions of our lives, merely reflect the repeated patterns of our thinking, and yet we wonder why the same situations and circumstances seem to haunt our lives.  It is not just our thinking, but the conditioning behind our unique patterns of thinking, which upon honest examination,we find are not so unique after all.

Most of us miss the simple truth and logic of one fundamental principle in our awareness of our existence: OUR THOUGHTS BECOME OUR THINGS! 

Okay, I’m not a physicist, nor do I profess to be, but I do have a firm grasp of science, especially physics, and in particular: quantum physics.  I don’t know why I understand it, I just do.   I have always felt as if people gave off vibrations.  There is an energy around a person that can be felt, not only felt, but transmitted to another as well. We have all benn around a person or people whose negativity seemed to seep into our pores.  Or those people whose very presence seem to zap the life out of you.    I used to refer to it as ‘bad air‘.  Sometimes I would be around people and somebody would just give off ‘bad air’, and I was kind of surprised to find out that most people have felt that ‘negative space‘ but never asked why that was so.  Well quantum physics says that everything is vibration, and energy exchange.  In other words the vibrations, the waves carry information. 

Quantum physics is also bringing to light the idea that everything is connected on a quantum level, and that each affects all.  Is it such a far stretch to believe that your thoughts, which spur you into action, that produces a measurable result, work any differently?

Think of a situation in which you tried very hard to have the outcome be favorable.  You have analyzed all of the situations that can’t happen in order for the result to be what you desired.  Things go wrong.  The first thing we all usually say in this situation is,  ” I knew this *#@%  was going to happen!!!”  Well it was destined to happen in ways unfavorable to you, because…..YOUR MAIN CONCERN WASN’T WHAT IT WAS GOING TO FEEL LIKE WHEN IT WENT THE WAY YOU WANTED!!!

Instead you focused on the things that you didn’t want, and then tried to stay a step ahead of yourself to make sure those things(whatever they may have been) didn’t happen.  What you did was alter your behavior in some way, in accordance with your thoughts.  This changed the energy of the outcome.  Because your thoughts focused on what you feared could go wrong, you attracted all of the things you wanted to stay away from.  Remember, like attracts like.   Now chances are, that in your situation, things went as they did with mines.  Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  This is simply because we focus on ALL of the things that could go wrong. This is where we concentrate our attention.  This is where we begin ‘negative affirmations’. 

I heard somewhere that if you want to change the world, change the way you think about the world.  In order to do that we have to begin to investigate our thought processes.  Begin to explore who you are, and the power that is contained in between your ears.   When you have a moment write down three things that would make you happy.  After you’ve done that, write the first thing that comes to mind when you look at each item.  Do this at least 3 more times, then review your list.  Keep in mind that it is your list, no one ever has to see it so don’t limit yourself in listing what would make you happy.  Make a pledge to yourself to read over your list with honest eyes.  Right there on that piece of paper, is how you have been thinking.  I think that is a most wonderful place to start the journey to discovering, how your thoughts become things. 

The Magnificent You Installment #4: How to begin to change your thinking.

Installment 2:The Magnificent Power Of Your Thoughts In Creating The Life You Didn’t Want.

Everything in our lives; situations, circumstances, and people are there as a result of us inviting them into our lives.  This a bitter pill to swallow for most of us  because it implies that we have had control over our lives all along.  It forces us to take full responsibility for the state of our existence.  No longer can we blame external sources as the cause of misery when we have accepted the part we have played, in creating the life we did not want. 

By way of our thoughts we inadvertently attract the things that we don’t want in our lives, those things that we fear.  Fear is a very powerful motivator.  I believe the true opposite of unconditional love, has to be fear.

 Mark Twain once said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”

What would you say the most prevalent fear amongst humans is?  In peeling back the layers of my existence I have come to see what I believe to be the most rampant fear in the human psyche: The fear of not being loved.  This root fear is the cause of all of our personal miseries, and it spawns fears on every level of our living. 

There are several stages of fear; real fear, supposed fear, interjected fear, and projected fear.   Let’s take a look at them in a situational context.  I am on a flight to Paris.  I love the feeling of being on one continent, and in a matter of hours being on another one. The pilot comes across the speaker saying we have lost an engine. It appears as if we are  going down. I am afraid (real fear), because this is happening now. All signs say we are going to crash!  Miraculously the plane manages to not send us all to our doom.  A round of applause for the pilot (that’s why they pay you the big bucks Captain). All is well, we live, no harm and no foul.

  I still love to travel, and I have no intention of stopping.  But, all of a sudden instead of booking flights, I choose to ride the rails, and see what the country looks like as I visit different places on this continent.   Flying is my last option now, well, because the plane ‘could’ go down, and since I am just traveling in the U.S why fly?  I mean, after all a crash almost happened once, so it ‘could’ happen again (supposed), so why run the risk?

  After some time I have come to love traveling by train, I don’t care if I ever see the inside of a plane again. 

One day I am having lunch with a friend, and she is going on and on about how she loves flying.  As a matter of fact, we used to travel together all of the time.  We’d talk for hours about learning to fly ourselves, and seeing the world from above.  I realized I kind of missed flying, because I used to love it. 

Well my friend says she’s seriously thinking of learning to fly a single engine plane.  “Are you crazy”? I ask.  “Don’t you know planes can  crash?”,  (INTERJECTION of MY FEAR) and “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard you say”! (PROJECTION : DISTRACTION FROM MY FEAR).   I put the words interjection, and projection  in bold because this is really where fear begins to shape our lives.

  This is the point in which everywhere we turn we see confirmation of our fears. Now our world is colored by fear.  Our interactions with others in our lives, become tainted with fear.  Our fears, and our attempts to outrun our fears begins to create our reality, because they operate on a subconscious level.  Our conscious minds seem to get a break at some point during the night, but our sub-conscious minds are always running, and it runs on all of  the information it has been fed by your conscious mind.  The one thing that seems to be prevalent in our human society is….you guessed it: FEAR. 

It is only when we allow ourselves to peer into our fears, do we begin to discover how fear has kept us stagnated, and distracted.  Distracted from what? You! Not the self-image you have of yourself that is mostly built upon your perceptions of others perception of you, but the ‘real you’, the one capable of changing, and creating worlds with your thoughts. 

Just once, I urge you: Examine your fears.  With an open, honest mind and an objective eye, really examine any fear that you have.  Just one fear.  See if you can recall any recent events, situations, in which this fear may have played a part in your behavior. 

If we are honest with ourselves, we will be able to come up with several fears at once; “I’m afraid of spiders”, “I don’t like the dark”, “I’m afraid of clowns (okay, that is my personal one…it’s not that I’m afraid so much as uncomfortable with not being able to see your actual face..kinda creepy to me…I probably need to examine that a little more).  Any way, these are not the kind of fears that need to be examined in-depth anyway. 

The fears that we need to understand, are the ones that we do the most damage to ourselves, in running from.  The ones we are ashamed to admit to having, even to ourselves. The fears that cement themselves into our psyche along with guilt, and anxiety.   Our fears of loneliness, that lead us to suffocatingly cling to others and demand constant reassurances of their love.  Which only makes people run from us, leaving us isolated, lonely, and feeling , unloved. We have manifested our fear. We have created our reality by interjecting our fear, and projecting our fears into the fabric of our lives.  We do this type of thing on a day-to-day basis, unaware of how we are creating the exact thing we are fighting so hard against.     Again I urge you, take a moment to  examine your fears. The thoughts that stem from those fears are the creative forces in our lives. The first step in overcoming any barrier on your quest to becoming the magnificent you, you were meant to be, is to stop being afraid to look at  the things that we fear.  It is our fearful thought processes that lead us to undesired states of existence. 

Next week: Installment 3: Thoughts are Things.

The Magnificent You Series Installment 1.

Each one of us, at this very moment, possesses a magnificent power.  The majority of us are unaware of the awesome potential of this power, simply because we’ve been taught to use it in a most dysfunctional way.

What is our most fundamental, yet untapped resource? It is the power of our minds.

  In actuality it is not that we haven’t learned how to utilize the power of our thoughts; we use our thoughts to create our reality at every moment.  What makes our thoughts an underutilized tool in creating our lives, is that we’ve been conditioned to think in specific ways.  These ways are generally not conducive to us having any personal fulfillment with ourselves, nor our lives, and the majority of our conditioning has been based on fear. 

What is reality?

Ask anyone what reality is, or what creates reality and the answers would be as diverse as our human population.  Reality is as much an abstraction as is love.  But if hard pressed to limit a concept to words, then most of us would define reality in terms of some individualized version of ” that which we can see, feel, taste, or experience in the physical sense; something concrete’.  By its generalized definition, it negates our emotions, and the thought patterns that develop subsequently affecting our behavior, as part of the make up of reality.

Our emotions are the foundation from which we build our self-image, and our perceptions of our world.  Our thoughts, and actions in response to those feelings are the bricks that begin to take shape and form our individualistic reality.

How we ‘feel’ about a thing colors our ‘perception‘ of that thing.  Our perceptions, or how we think about our experiences with a thing, determines our reality; not the thing itself.  You and I could both be standing at the base of the Sears Tower here in Chicago, and perceive two entirely different realities.  Yes we are both looking at a sky scraper, and yes we both see the same dimensions, but lets say that I had a frightening experience with heights as a child, and have had a fear of heights since, and you have no such fear, the reality that is your average run of the mill skyscraper, looks like ‘possibility of death if I go up there’ to me.  The reality of a skyscraper takes on two distinct realities. 

To sum it up; our thoughts and feelings affect our reality in ways we were not aware of .  What we think clouds or clarifies our world.  Take some time to seriously give thought (NO PUN INTENDED…well, ok maybe pun intended) to these three questions: What have we been thinking about? How have we been thinking about things?  Are these thoughts actually ours, or are they a by-product of our cultural conditioning?