Category Archives: Self-Discovery

The magic of belief. By Lisa Wilcoxon

I am a firm believer in one coming to know why they believe the things that they do.  I have come to learn that some attention needs to be placed on understanding the “magic” of your beliefs.  Most of us are not aware of how very powerful our thought, and feelings are in shaping the fabric of reality.  We walk around unconscious of how we create our lives with what we believe.

I used to  believe what people told me about myself. I took on their position of judging my life through their eyes.  I didn’t believe that I could make the life I imagined in my heart for myself.  We all dream of a life of happy abundance, and I believed that way of living, was beyond my reach.  I had always felt that an unlimited existence was not in the cards for me.

How very wrong I was.  It took me a very long time to see that by my thinking of “impossibilities”, was making everything I wanted…impossible.

When I look back now, I can see so many instances, where my limited thinking, and that erroneous belief I had about myself, caused either my actions, or lack thereof.  I am excited to say, that I have started to enjoy this experience that is my life.  I have eradicated most of my self-defeating thinking, and ways of acting.  For the first time when I open my eyes, I see limitless possibilities for me, and the universe is responding.  I am now doing what I love, with no thoughts as to whether or not the “good life”  is out there for me.  I know it is, because I have it now.  At each and every moment, I am creating that life that I have carried inside of me all of these years.  This transformation came from me simply analyzing why I believed in the things I did, and seeing how those beliefs had structured my life.

Your beliefs are the thoughts and feelings that you put into action. You act on what you believe.  If you do not believe you are a good person, you will do things to prove your belief right.  If you do  not believe that you are worthy of love, that belief will cause you to test the limits of and sabotage love when someone offers it to you.  If you believe that prosperity is not for you, then it won’t be.

If you truly want to change your life.  If you sincerely want to enjoy this experience of experience….change your thinking, change your perception, change your beliefs especially the self-defeating ones.  What you believe manifest itself into concrete things, and ways of being.  You can tear down or restore with your thinking.  This is the magic of belief….it is transformative.

Wishing you clarity 🙂

Experiences In Sleepwalking 101.

Sleep-walking is a sleep disorder also called somnambulism. About four percent of the adult population sleepwalks, but exact numbers are difficult to estimate. It involves getting up from bed and walking around, although you are still asleep. When on the move, sleep-walker do not just walk. They may perform routine  tasks, but in the wrong manner or done in the wrong place. For example, sleep-walker might make a sandwich, move furniture around, answer the toothpaste(telephone),  or urinate in a trashcan.  Although their eyes are open, and they appear to be awake, their actions suggest otherwise.

A sleep-walker may be incredibly hard to wake up. When they do awaken from their escapades, they can be very confused.  There usually is no memory of the event for the sleepwalker, so waking up in the hall closet instead of the bed can be puzzling. It is not often that the night wanderer has a clear recollection of all that has happened.

In many ways there is a parallel between physical sleepwalking, and sleepwalking of the mind, which the majority of us though not aware, experience on a day-to-day basis.

It is time for us to wake up!

That feeling in the pit of your stomach that is gnawing at you constantly, telling you that something is not right, is the alarm clock.  Stop ‘hitting the snooze button’ on your Awakening.

We all want to be as happy as we can be in our lifetimes.  In order for us to achieve any level of happiness we have to begin by ‘doing the right things in a productive manner’.  First we have to heed that ‘Wake-Up’ call we have been ignoring.

The Dash: who knew a hyphen could mean so much?

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
– RalphWaldoEmerson

It’s natural and appropriate that we give a vast amount of our attention to the two most fundamental aspects of our physical life: its beginning, and its end. Birth announcements rejoice in a new life coming into the world. Obituaries announce a life that has been lived and is no longer.  It seems as if from the moment we become aware of death, we are in this frantic race to ‘beat the clock’.  Just about everything you do between ‘birth’ and ‘death’  is an avoidance of ‘death’. We begin to run from, and try to stall the inevitable so much that we forget about the most important thing : the living the ‘hyphen’ in between symbolizes. 

Imagine for a moment that you are reading your own obituary.  What are the types of things that you would want it to say? How would you want to be remembered by your loved ones, your neighbors, or your fellow human beings?  

The act of asking myself that question, led me to a series of questions: If I were to die right  now, would I be able to say that I had lived up to my full potential? In thinking of my particular strengths and weaknesses at my current level of existence, do I believe that I have been the best me I was capable of being? Have I contributed to the betterment of my world and the world of those around me?  Our ‘hyphens’ represent a myriad of decisions, a countless number of lives impacted, and the potential for changing our world.  I believe the poem below nicely sums the ‘hyphen’ up.  I don’t know who authored it, but I thank them.

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend, he referred to the dates on her tombstone  from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth and spoke the following date with tears.  But what he said mattered most of all was the dash between the years.

For that dash represents all the time, that she spent alive on earth, and now only those who loved her know what that little line was worth.

So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left, so the changes could still be arranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real, and always try to understand the way other people feel,

And be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more, and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

We should treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile….Remembering that this special dash, might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy’s being read, with your life’s actions to rehash….would you be proud of the things they say, about how you spent your dash?

The date of your birth becomes static the moment you are born, and we can not ever change that.  The date of your death becomes static when you die, and we can not ever change that  either.  The only thing we have the control to change is the life we live in between.

So having said that, I pose a question to you dear reader: 


 The message is that it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it’s what you leave behind when you go.



The Link In The Chain:Synchronicity

each link represents an event in our lives. Large or small, all of the events are connected.

“It is our custom to say that someone is “lucky” or “unlucky” if they meet with fortunate or unfortunate circumstances, respectively.  It is however, too simplistic to think in terms of random “luck.”  Even from a scientific point of view, this is not a sufficient explanation.  Should something unfortunate happen, we immediately think, “Oh, how unlucky!”  And yet this is not sufficient to explain what happened- there must be a cause.  We seem to cal “luck” that factor which overrides external conditions to bring about a positive situation.  But that too is a cause; it is an inner cause, which we call “merit.”— His Holiness the Dalai Lama, from “Answers:  Discussions with Western Buddhists”,

The chance occurrence of two things at the same time or place in such a way as to seem remarkable.  How many of us have experienced an event in our lives, that fit into that category? A chance meeting of a future husband or wife, or being in the exact right place at the exact right time, for you to be able to experience a life altering event? Usually we just call these occurrences coincidence.  Most of us believe that these chances for altering our lives in profound ways as nothing  more than a ‘freaky’, random happening, and attribute it to ‘luck’.

“I was just lucky”, is our way of saying that “we don’t know how this particular event that seemed tailor made occured”.

In a universe where things run on a system of intricate laws, and follows rules of organization, can there really be a such thing as coincidence?  If we believe in a Creator, and we believe that the Creator is Omnipresent, and that humans and everything else in the universe is connected to and through the Creators will, then how could anything be a “random occurrence”?

This path of thinking would lead one to conclude that there are no such things as ‘coincidence’.

Coincidence is synchronicity, we just haven’t learned how to see how the coincidences connect.  A thing is said to have synchronicity when it operates at a speed exactly proportional to the applied current.  That is to say…you get what you put out. We all have synchronous interactions happening all of the time, we just fail to see how the dots connect to form a picture of our lives.  We also fail to see that the moments in between these ‘event’ are just a livable and synchronistically connected as the events themselves.  Everything that happens to us happens for a reason.  We can only begin to understand those reasons, if we start to see how each event, experience, etc., was tailor made to our lives in particular.  In doing this you will begin to see the purpose of you being here. You will begin to experience your life unfolding.  The signs of our grand design are all around us.  The two truest words of wisdom are: PAY ATTENTION.

Losing the negative person inside of you.

Losing the negative person inside of you is rather easy.  Seems like a difficult task, but really, it’s quite simple. We’ll get to how to accomplish that later in the article. However, what is not so simple, is realizing that you are a negative person in the first place, and then deciding, to let that person go.  First and foremost,  realize that as with all things in the universe, humans too have a polarity, a yin and yang, an up and down if you will.  We are positive and at the same time negative.  The reasons for our living in a negative head-space the majority of our lives, is our familial and cultural conditioning.  We have been taught to look at the world through the lens of irrational egotistical judgements, criticism, intolerance, selfish indifference and loathing.  We are even taught to view ourselves through the same distorted lenses.  This type of conditioning causes us to have internal conflicts for most of our lives, in that we want good things in our lives, but view our chances of having those good things with judgment(what am I thinking I can never have____).  With criticism (If I was smarter I could do _____).  With selfish indifference (What’s in it for me?).    

The problem with the negative aspect of us is that it has built an intricate  defense system, and it won’t want to give up easily.  It’s first line of defense is to not let you look into your own life. It makes you focus on what others are doing, and what others have, and what you think others have, so on and so forth.  You spend all of that time looking at others through your trippy glasses, and none focusing on improving self.  See, your negativity defense factor knows that if you take an honest look at yourself, I mean an “Alice down the rabbit hole” kind of peek, into your own psyche, you will see that you are NO different from anyone else on the planet.  Every negative thought you have ever had about anything, you have also thoughtabout yourself. For the majority of us this is an all too large pill to swallow. It makes it a whole lot easier to be less judgmental, and critical when you see yourself in others. 

We all, due to our conditioning, live in a negative space. We all want the same things, we all are motivated by the same drives, we have all been taught to perceive our world in the same way, and WE ALL have been unhappy. Be introspective.  Seek the ugly truth of who you have been in order to reach the beautiful honesty of who you can become.  You really want to lose the negative aspect of you? First recognize that there is one. Second, ask yourself why you are the way you are? And last but certainly  not least………..DECIDE TO BE HAPPY!   To not be a person filled with any sort of negativity IS a decision.  The most important one you will make in your entire lifetime.  Quite simple huh?

Investigation self discovery

How do we begin to convince our egos that it’s been at the wheel long enough. And that we are actually ready and capable of taking over, and giving it a much needeed rest? There are various paths that assist in shedding the belief structures that have been the builders of our false-selves. We all have our own unique way of processing information, and whether it is rapidly, or slowly, we will ‘get it’ when we ‘get it’. 


What remains a constant is the fact that what we believe to be true about our world and, ourselves- has to be rebuilt upon an entirely new foundation. In the end, it is not the ‘end’, it is a ‘ beginning’, a re-birth.

Remember, regardless of the circumstances contained in your present, and regardless of the history contained in your past, YOU control the destination contained in your future. Now that we have uncovered the truth about the lies we have been living, let’s delve into what it can truly mean to be human. To be YOU..

Let’s get started.

Just what are our values and how do we arrive at them?

We ALL have more than one set of values and our lives are regulated by the combination of all of our values. However, our dominant values differ from person-to-person as a result of us being born to different families, cultures, religions, and nationalities. Our values also change as we change. From Individuation to Spiritual values and all values in-between, these values are prevalent in every society.

Each and every one of us if motivated to transport our lives in particular directions. Our motivations are decided by the values that we ascribe to. Our values are our ideals, they form to express that which we perceive to be important truths about life. Clarifying our values is the first step towards building our character

Make a list of values that you think are important for you from each of the six categories. If you have trouble finding out what your values are, look to someone who you admire. Decide what it is you like most about them. That is something you value. Understand what the chosen values mean, in literal context, and to you personally. One may know that dishonesty is the act of being untruthful, and may abhor lying, and at the same time still tell a white lie to spare someone hurt feelings. Decipher what the value means to you.

Prioritize the list from the most important to the least important value. Reflect on the people you find yourself drawn to. Do they share the same values as you? How do you deal with people who do not share the same values as you? Can you live and let live?

Clarifying our values is the most important step we must perform so that we may become aware of who we are. It is the biggest and most beneficial aspect to breaking the bonds of our social conditioning. Clarifying our values gives us the freedom to branch out as we’d like, because we will no longer be stuck following the motions of someone else. We will be acting in a manner that is truly US.