Category Archives: My Quirky Crazy Random Thoughts

The Fallacy Of Difficult Decisions.

What do most of us do when we are faced with difficult decisions? We begin to think of possible options(things we should do), to ensure a favorable outcome for the situations in which we have to make these tough choices. The majority of times the basis for the choice we make is that what we have decided upon is usually, the ‘lesser of two evils’. Let’s face it, what makes the decisions difficult is the fact that in mostly all cases, the resultant actions will more than likely change the course of yours, or someone else’s life.

Humans make things so much more difficult than they really have to be. You would think that with the largest brain of any species on the planet, we would not need to over analyze most things.

You always have an internal compass that guides you and tells you what decisions you need to be making to move towards a more progressive state of being. It is your heart. We live in a culture that has conditioned us to mistrust, and altogether ignore the purest, most instinctive part of our nature. We are told to be logical about our thought processes, but in truth we have not been taught how to think logically. If we had then we would be well aware of the fact that everything in this Universe has a complimenting element to it including us, and the inner aspects of us…you have a conscious and, sub-conscious; you are logical and emotional.

We have been taught to believe that our logic is there as a means of keeping our emotional being, our primal selves, our base natures from taking over and leading us to our ruins. In reality it is the other way around. Your emotions are there to guide your logic in experiencing experience. How often have you heard people say ” I had a feeling this was going to go bad from the beginning”, when it came down to some sort of transaction…whether it was familial, professional, or organizational? Here’s the million dollar question:


Because we have been taught to view those feelings as superstitious byproducts of a backwards, and wayward thinking people, and so we begin the task of finding ways to over complicate the process of making a decision. What is more simple and direct than trusting what you feel in your heart?

As our parents told us when we asked, we also tell our children when the question of where God lives is posed…” God lives in your heart”, we answer. When we are departing with loved ones it is customary to say ” I”ll keep you in my heart”. Our passions are notorious for “being in our hearts”. Love is “in our hearts”.

Why would someone not truth the one organ that houses all of that good stuff?

The heart is of God. Our minds are there to interpret, and enable us to carry out what God is instructing us in our hearts to do.

The truth is when it comes to making those life altering decisions….you ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO…your heart sends you signals as to how you should proceed. Begin to use that super large brain as it was intended, to decipher the language of the heart.

The most important reason you should run as fast as humanly possible from the next person you hear say “think with your head and not with your heart”, is a simple matter of common sense. We have been thinking with our heads and for the most part we have been checking out of existence from heart related defects, not brain defects.

People have random heart attacks, but I have yet to see random head explosions.


In most normal circumstances, I am an open book.  You can ask me practically any question, and I won’t be offended.  I will however, try to provide you with the best answer I can come up with to the question you are asking.  I can generally converse with a diverse group of people on diverse subjects with ease.  I love the very idea of communication; the ability to exchange ideas, transfer information, and to learn from another some fundamental or truly profound lesson. But, there are two topics that I purposely remain vague about when they come up:  Religion, and Politics. 

Today is the day, that I am going to do what I ask all others to do for themselves….I am stepping out of my comfort zone.  I truly feel as if I have to in this moment.  I am not talking about both of them, well, maybe I am, because it seems as if in the United States, there isn’t much of a difference between the two.  I will try to keep it narrowed down to my particular source of irritation today.

POLITICS-  the way we are governed, or for a more appropriate description; the lack of adequate governance is what I want to rant about.

Lately I have been seeing some things in a shifting light.  It seems to me that truth is all around me, and it always has been, I like most people was distracted by something else.  I don’t know, maybe Lindsey Lohan was caught driving high that day, or  I got caught up in Donald Trumps hair piece on yet another thought-provoking episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice”. In finally seeing the truth, I see now that the distractions were placed in front of me for the sole purpose of KEEPING ME DISTRACTED!

I have been doing some serious you-tubing lately, and somehow, I was guided to the ” Conspiracy Theorist” videos.  Let me make this perfectly clear…”I don’t know if their beliefs are correct, I don’t know if they have faulty information, and I don’t know if they are in fact “kooky nuts”.  The one thing I do know is that whenever someone has stepped outside of the normal lines of conformity, at first, they are subjected to harsh ridicule, and then later on when some of what they say happens, everybody’s like…” you told us but we didn’t listen”.   That I know for a fact.

If nothing else, my you-tubing experience caused me to research a few things that sounded like they may have been valid. And to come up with several questions on my own.  In researching these subjects, I began to think about the state of our country.  At first I found it hard to fathom, that there may be evil hobgoblins running our governmental body.  But then I took a long look at the state of the world around me currently.

Is is truly so hard for us to believe that we have elected officials who do not have our best interest or the interest of proliferating humanity in mind?  How does it make you a ‘whacked out conspiracy nut” to want to bring people’s attention to what they should be seeing unfold around them every day?

We have a corrupt system, and the daily news is filled with instances of this corruption all of the time.  Two or three times a year, we get the ‘really big’ stories of high level governmental corruption blasted at us, and that in itself should tell you that…it can, and does happens!  When you see the story on the news, that is the story that someone found out about.  Someone questioned something. That questioned led them to expose some truth.  What about the things that happen when no one is around to question?  What about the corruption that does not immediately leave a trail?

  Amongst the many questions I posed to myself the one that took precedence over the others was: 1. Why do I HAVE to vaccinate my children?  I would think that no doctor worth their weight in salt, would sign on to administer foreign DNA, and other substances into the body of a precious ‘human’ child.  For parents out there, whether or not you choose to immunize your children is up to you, but I implore you either way, to research vaccinations, what they consist of , and the affects both good, and bad on a human body. 

 In my own personal experience, after so many questions about the kids immunizations, and autism, I decided to not allow my then 2-year-old daughter to be immunized.  I did my research, I weighed out the pros and cons on both sides of the coin as well.  I came to this conclusion…..

I believe that who or what ever created this universe and everything in it, provided a life-sustaining planet, with everything it needs to sustain life.  Our bodies were designed following those same rules.  Our bodies are capable of performing extraordinary biological functions.  One of which, is our immune system.  If she got the chicken pox, or measles, or mumps, her body would defend itself, in a natural way. Not with a syringe full of as I said above, strains of foreign DNA, plus some other additives, preservatives, and chemicals to keep the strains suspended in.

My oldest daughter was vaccinated regularly as scheduled while growing up.  After she received the Varicella (chickenpox), and  MMR vaccine for starting kindergarten, she contracted what a Doctor said was, and I quote, “The worst case of chicken pox I have ever seen”.  I literally thought I was going to lose my daughter to this  virus.  That is really when I began to question the effectiveness, or even the necessity of vaccinations.

At fifteen I contracted chicken pox, and I had been vaccinated on a regular schedule as a child.  If the vaccinations are supposed to provide you with immunity against these diseases, and I have taken all that I have been told is enough to effectively protect me, then….how did I end up with it at 15? What protection did it offer? What protection did it offer my daughter?

How do we truly know what effects these vaccinations are having on our bodies in the long-term?  In order for my youngest daughter to attend school for her kindergarten year, vaccinations were mandatory unfortunately.  She was given the vaccinations in the beginning of september, three days later she developed  what appeared to be a cold.  The only difference was that a cold generally runs its course in a couple of days.  This lasted for months. From September until April, my daughter has coughed incessantly, spewed things out of her mouth that could have come straight out of the movie “the exorcist”, and has seen the doctor like a  billion times, received breathing treatments that never worked, etc, etc. Point: We hadn’t had any of these problems until the vaccinations.

 There has been a significant increase in autism, ADD, ADHD, psychotic, and anti-social behavior in our children.  The one thing that most children have in common, is that they are vaccinated on a regular basis over an extended period of time.  Could our vaccines that are supposedly designed to prevent illnesses, also be the cause of long-term, obfuscated illnesses, that not only affect our children physically, but cognitively as well?

I think the better question is…how does our government police, and regulate the pharmaceutical industries?

I am witnessing the decline of life as I ‘thought’ I knew it.  It seems as if civilization is in a state of degradation, the likes of which have never been seen.   The worst part is that the decay is caused by an internal illness, and the evidence is all around us.  We just refuse to see it because of who the information comes from.   I do believe that there are some conspiracies that are far more than ‘theory’, and that one of them may very well be the Pharmaceutical Lobbyist/Government Officials partnership.  Even if you believe that conspiracy theorist are whack jobs, and dummies:  KEEP THE SEAT BELT COMMERCIAL IN MIND;  You can learn a lot from a Dummy…BUCKLE UP! Ask questions.


Connections To Who I Am.

When I am faced with any situation, any circumstance, they are there for me.  When I need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to my sorrows, a comforting arm to surround me when I am my most vulnerable…they are always around to provide.  When I find myself lost in the dark, with no benefit of a flashlight, they break through the bleakness like lanterns of hope. When I am at my best, and more importantly, when I am at my worst, their love and support never abandons me.


  They, are my family.

We share laughter, we share tears, we share collective memories of who we are collectively, as well as individually. 

We share an unbreakable bond.  No amount of distance, no amount of passing time, removes the feelings in our hearts for our family.  They are, our connections to who we are.  Semi-functional, or dysfunctional, they are ours, and they are us.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way!!!  I love them with an unyielding fierceness.

This is what family is. 

The Bankrupting Of The American Citizen: How Our Monetary System Is Used To Keep Us In Debt.

I ran across this video while researching another subject.   If you have ever wondered how our society truly works, then I implore you to view this monumental movie.  The name of the movie is Zeitgeist: The Addendum.

Our Warring Nature;Or Is It Just Human Nature

I was going to blog about why we are such a violent species.  The atrocities we heap upon one another on a daily basis is such, that it demands closer examination.  I came to a conclusion after thinking on the subject for awhile.    In my mind, there is nothing that could sanely explain ‘Man’s Inhumanity To Man’.  What I can explain, is how I personally feel about the subject, by starting at the beginning:  with ME!

We are all on some level responsible for the brutalities that are dealt out. Because I believe this, I have had to ask myself in what ways have I contributed to the violence that plagues the world? 

Have I ever hurled a racial slur at someone?  Was there ever an instance in which  everything in me knew a situation was wrong, yet I did nothing?  Have I harbored hate, or envy? Have I been less than compassionate?  Less than caring?

I quickly came to discover that I was Dr.Frankenstein, and the monster simultaneously.  On some level, we all are.  I wasn’t a monster because of my actions, but because of my in-actions.  Yes there were times when I should have spoken out against a witnessed wrong, yet stood silent; either to not have unwarranted attention on me, or to not be seperated from the ‘group think’.  I have harbored hate in my heart, and after even closer inspection, realized that the person I was being most hateful to, was myself.  

While being sorry that it happened, but glad that it didn’t happen to me; and doing and saying nothing, I was enabling the violence that I believed I abhored, to fester and grow.  I don’t really understand why it took me so long to come to this rather obvious conclusion:  BY MY SILENTLY STANDING BY WHEN I WITNESSED AN INJUSTICE, I WAS CONDONING IT, AND CONDEMNING MYSELF TO IT AS WELL. 

Wait a minute, I do know why it took me so long to understand. I like everyone else had been hypnotized, or lulled into a sense of comfortable complacency with violence.  We  live in a world that practically brainwashes us with the notion of isolation and seperation.  We grow in a culture that emphasizes freedom of individuality.  But humans are a connected species, our connections are key to our survival.  Even when our sense of individuality leads us to very bad thinking patterns, we still need a bunch of people around us with the same “bad thinking patterns” to feel connected to.  

We then become further isolated from each other by a society (governments, religious institutions, media) that seems to use our sense of individuality as a form of social control, to keep us warring with each other, by highlighting our differences and showcasing our violent ways. Case in point: The Jerry Springer Show!  Who really watches that show for the enlightening topics? 

I no longer choose to be lulled into silently witnessing the self-destruction of my species.  I choose to no longer carry with me those characteristics typical of violent natures.  I choose to place the need of the human family over the need for my own individuality.  I choose to remove myself from the ‘group think’, and I hope you do as well, so that we may continue to even  have a group. I also choose not to watch Jerry Springer, UFC, Wrestling, or Boxing, anymore. 

There’s an old saying, “There but by the grace of God, there go I”.  What affects another affects each and every one of us.  Although I can not explain why so many atrocities are allowed to take place, by taking a closer look at my own thoughts, and behaviors, I can certainly see where I played a part, and I now know how to begin changing it: 


Her Name Is Alicia Barnes

For some strange reason, we just seemed to hit it off upon first meeting.  She was the quiet to my loud and abrasive, my polar opposite.  At least that’s what I thought in the beginning.  As our friendship grew over time we discovered that we had more in common than we had differences. 

Since meeting her, the thought of her not being in my life has never occurred to me, and apparently not to her either.  I moved 65 miles away, and she would show up at 2 am ringing my doorbell, simply because she missed me. I loved those impromptu visits, because she always seemed to show up when my soul felt disconnected, like she felt that I needed to be grounded. 

 When I moved to Arizona from Illinois, we stayed in constant contact with one another.  I had the best news to tell her one day, so I called her and announced that I was pregnant with my 2nd child.  After listening to my news, she then excitedly informed me that she was pregnant with her 1st child as well! I moved back to be closer to my family and her during our pregnancies. We were inseperable!  Two hormonally driven pregnant women together on the loose. I can’t help but to remember the day we almost tore a Baskin and Robbins apart in our 6th month of pregnancy, because they ran out of raspberry cheesecake ice-cream lol.  I still say : IT IS NOT 32 FLAVORS IF YOU’RE MISSING ONE!!!!

She left the hospital after having her baby, I went in to deliver my daughter exactly 20 days later. 

She is my best friend, and her name is Alicia Barnes.

She has taught me what it means to have a friend, and more importantly through her actions, how to be a friend as well.  She has always been there for me, been supportive of my endeavors, held my hair back for me as I hurled from late night drinking escapades,  and even thought the best of me when I was feeling at my worst. 

Alicia has taught me to stop reacting to things so quickly, and how to listen, and how to talk to people sometimes.  She is kind, considerate, generous, trustworthy, steadfast, and she conducts herself with honor, and carries herself with integrity.  She treats everyone the way she wants to be treated. Alicia always tries to take the high road in any situation, and that is one of the things I have loved best about her.

I don’t believe I would have made it through a lot of bad situations, without her input, and for that I am and will always be eternally grateful to her.   My best friend has been a shining beacon of inspiration since we synchronistically met.  I treasure her spirit, I cherish our friendship(more like family), and I will forever keep a piece of her essence in my heart, no matter where I am in the world.  I know that I have a friend who will always listen, always care, and who genuinely loves me.  And I genuinely love her back.  She’s my sister from another mister.  She is my best friend & her name is Alicia Barnes.

FaceBook Friends


Like most people, when I blog I usually have 2 screens open: the one I’m bloggin on, and on the other FaceBook.  It dawned on me recently why FaceBook has become so important to me.  Up until December of 2009 I didn’t even want a FaceBook account, and didn’t really want one.  My oldest daughter inspired me to set up an account, and so I did.  

I have to say, that was one of the best things I could have done.  See I thought the FaceBook would be like any other form of social media.  I was wrong. 

Along with re-discovering child-hood, and high school friends, I found family members stretched out across this country, that I had never known existed.  FaceBook has helped my family grow. I am loving that I am forging a tight relationship with my cousins , ‘The Eric’s’, and Angela. It is strengthening the relationships I had with the family I have known, and connecting me to other cultures.  Because I know now that I have a cousin in Japan, it has made me pay more attention to what is happening there. It has spurred me to action. FaceBook brought me and my cousin Yvette Allen together after almost a lifetime apart :). It has also brought new and exciting friends of friends, whom I truly enjoy talking to, and who are teaching me so many things through our interactions. 

Friends like Dell Griffin who authored an E-book,  “!/pages/10-Must-Dos-For-A-Healthy-Lifestyle/173739012646748

“, and Sharon Person who is an absolute joy to talk to.  Tasha Lenoir is a friend of my best friend, and up until FaceBook, we had not known one another.  Tasha has quickly become one of those I count amongst my friends, she is super positive to talk to. 

Dex Pierce(Just My Thoughts), Nate Johnson,(your PSA for the day) and Robert Varnado(Professor), I know from high school.  They were a great group of young men then, and they are fine examples of great men now,  and they have some of the most thought provoking post, that spark honest dialogue between people.  Robert is singularly responsible for me knowing what is in a lithium battery, and the genus and subspecies of an Eastern Screech Owl !!! LOL, which is why I call him the Professor 🙂 You guys are great!!!

  As with all things, you get out of it what you put into it…I must have done something right, because my older relationships are being cultivated, and my new relationships with some truly wonderful people are flourishing.

Facebook has been one of the best things I have come across in a long time.  I am often inspired and educated by my FaceBook Friends and Family. So when I say “I love Y’all FaceBook”, I truly mean it <3.

  I am sooooo glad that I decided to set up my account!!!